Photo credit. Selfie while waiting for a Youth in Tourism Meeting at Africa Development Bank.
Here’s something I never thought I’d ever say: atleast not now, but, this is my last month in active tourism career.
This post is very much a personal one. Rather than sharing insights on tourism or travel , I’d like to walk through my inner journey the past few years that I have been in this industry.
It’s a journey that’s left me itching for change to go elsewhere and set up a new home base and start a new career all together.
How I landed in Lilongwe all geared to turn a round the tourism industry. I moved to Lilongwe during the winter of 2014, a little over three years ago. I had just dropped out of college and serendipitously landed here because of a new project we intended to launch. I was eager and anxious to start my career in tourism out here and frankly had no idea what to expect.
Sometimes I ask myself, "Why are all our social interactions either about the marks we get, the money we make or about gossip about someone else? How is it that 99.99% of all our teenage conversations devolve into sex or money?
Being kicked out and rejected a countless times (2 out of 3 colleges) during my active Uni days taught me how to move on. After having gone through all levels of authority from the Dean of faculty to Registrar about my intentions to leave college in 3rd year, dropping out of several courses in fourth year and that Statistics repeat course that I was never going to to finish and consequently finishing my 6 years in 3 college with no papers to brag about taught me that perseverance and determination prevails.
.Suicide thoughts and depression have nothing to do with how you look on the outside.
On the life I could have lost, on the lives we could still be losing everyday.
In my previous posts on social media, I shared with people — both strangers and friends — that I am chronically depressed and suicidal.
Notice the present tense. I am still chronically depressed and suicidal. I am pretty certain people don’t really believe me. I look like I am the furthest away of being a person you would think is thinking of ending his life every other week, if not every day.
That is the whole point though.
There is no telling how someone with chronic depression and suicidal tendencies should look.
Before I take this farther, I want to make it clear that what follows in the next 8 minutes that you will be on this page is entirely my personal story, I am not speaking on behalf of all depressed and suicidal people, because they are complex conditions and I have taken all my spiritual beliefs aside — they cannot be reduced to one person’s story.
I have had countless people tell me that I inspire them and they wish they were like me, that I am full of life. I have always wanted to tell them paradoxically that I am full of life, precisely because I think about killing myself all the time. (But I do not tell them because I have never had the courage to).
Dennis Imaan is a Global Citizen born and currently staying in Malawi. He loves to share his experiences and lessons with others. Travel, Tourism, Innovations, Media and Youth development are close to his heart.